Many candidates feel stuck at the band 6 or 6.5 level in their writing. This post looks at a sample essay with common band 6.5 problems.
Here is the writing task 2 question:
This is the sample answer from one of my Facebook followers and my feedback. The different colours used relate to the 4 criteria mentioned in the general feedback comments.
General feedback comments:
As you can see, the main problem with this answer is task response. The essay consists mostly of concluding statements rather than ideas that are developed to show how the conclusions were reached. This lack of development of ideas is a key point in keeping people stuck at band 6 or 6.5.
I have written my own version of the answer trying to keep the same conclusions. In my answer, I made sure to discuss both of the view points in the question, while also giving my own opinion, which is what the task told us to do.
The most important advice for every task 2 answer here is to plan, check and make sure you answer all of the question.
Learn more about developing your ideas and improving Task response in my free book, The Key to IELTS Success.